Happiness…Personified…And Personalized

Happiness… as one of my friends’ mentioned is a very unique emotion, distinct from everything else, which has the most wholesome bearing upon your heart and mind. Sounded very interesting and so I thought it might just be enlightening to delve into its nuances. Of course I have neither studied the subject nor have I gone into any research, nevertheless I choose to write on it. After all a layman’s thoughts shouldn’t be callously trivialized. More so, our personal experiences are no less insightful and sharing it only surprises me how the same emotions flow through all of us at some point or the other.
I have no doubt, yet I ask if we receive happiness or create it. Of course I am aware that we are designed to create it and then spread it. But since my awareness is not followed up by enough strength and practice, I am usually at odds with it. Another dear friend just twirled his curiosity as to why do we even exist. My belief is to know ourselves. Or just to know happiness… Of what little I have understood about life, it is a journey of self discovery. As they say every soul is immaculate in its truest form, it’s the layers of our earthly life which distort it. So maybe we are here to discover that unblemished soulful happiness within ourselves.
Happiness is a rather vague illusionary term when I write it. It is the experience of it which matters. It’s that profound feeling where you have this brimming joy which you want to give to the whole world. You wish every single soul well. It doesn’t matter if you see a stranger, you just want to smile. I’ll borrow my favourite phrase, “You just want to be a happy vibe.”… No holds barred. I have had this momentary flitting feeling at times and it’s awesome. Your mind which is usually doing a drab draconian dance will be tapping on a totally different trance beat. You wouldn’t really care for a glass of wine in this mind space. And your heart will dissolve decade-old grudges with ease and empathy.
However, the challenge is in converting this ephemeral beautiful feeling into a lasting state of mind. Well, for the major part of the problem we are all too dependent on others to give it. We are evolved to create it but haven’t really learnt it or honed it. Let me put it in one of the most relatable scenarios here of when I fall in love. Love and being loved is a wondrous feeling, which gives you a dizzying emotional high. Makes you see the world very differently. So in this highly ecstatic mental state, love is my primary feeling but happiness is my consequential feeling. And it is this consequential feeling that I will spread around others in the simplest of ways as smiling at a stranger or petting a stray cat. This feather light feeling is extraordinary, immensely liberating and it does so much good because I am contributing a happily charged vibe in the universe.
But the day I stop being that person’s centre of the world, my feeling would be of insurmountable sorrow to begin with.  It is terribly heart wrenching to see your fantastical world fall apart. I will for a while drown in grief. However, when I think beyond I realize that my primary and consequential feeling will be almost the same of hurt, sadness, pain or irritability but it will be isolated to me. Yeah, I might react exasperatedly and exaggeratedly but I will still not wish the whole world sorrow. I would not send a vibe that wishes all the people in this world suffer heartbreak because I am suffering. We aren’t really so basal or such morons.
Next, when I tried replicating the same logic to other negative emotions of fear, anger, etc, I realized that the consequential feeling is also always negative. And as human as I am, I might wish ill for the person in context, but my antipathy is never so strong or compelling to wish it upon the entire world in general. But when it comes to positive expressions like excitement, kindness, success, etc the underlying consequential feeling is always of joy. When I might write my bestseller, my exhilarating primary feeling will be of accomplishment and popularity but my innate consequential feeling will still be happiness. So in this success I don’t wish that all amateur writers become bestsellers tomorrow, but in my happiness I just wish everybody well. I respond with a smile and a happy heart. And that’s a very beautiful place to be in.  I want to end it here… just staying in this amazingly blissful zone.
But sadly it doesn’t end here. It rather ends when the excitement of my love and bestseller end. My stimulus subsides, my happiness vanishes. How ironic then that despite happiness being the single most undiluted and wholesome emotion bearing upon our hearts, minds and soul, we don’t sustain it. Simply because for so long we have kept it dependent upon people and events. But I guess it’s time to make amendments. There’s a time and occasion to love, to succeed, to grieve, to fear, but to be Happy should be Timeless. Effortless. Condition less. I need it. We need it.

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